The Ten Dollar Bet

HELLO! loyal fans. You may have noticed that the star date on this episode is a bit old compared to Episode 10. This is because I wrote this over two months ago. Before I could post it, Ray and Kevin grounded me because they thought I lied about my E3 trip, even though I didn't. They also said I took to long to post my episodes. I begged them to unground me, but they tortured me by ignoring my constant stream of emails. So here is the lost episode, read it now before those guys mess with me some more.

HI! It's me Himee. Yes, I'm still alive. Sorry about my absence. I have no excuse, only an explanation. You see, my loyal readers, I made a bet with Ray. We were talking about Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords. Ray is kind of slow when comes to playing video games. What I mean to say is that he is a year or two behind the rest of us. The last game he bought that was still current was Halo 2. Anyway, Ray was talking about how much he likes this game because you can choose to follow the light side or the dark side of the force. I guess he played through the game once as a Jedi, but he couldn't beat Kreia. So he started over, became a Sith Lord and beat the game. He then challenged me to turn to the dark side. I had to accept this bet if only to prove myself.

I couldn't sleep after grandma tucked me in for the night, so I started thinking of a good strategy for turning to the dark side. I was going to have to be mean to everyone I encountered in the game and probably kill more than half of them. This was going to be rough, I have a hard time being mean to people, even digital people. I still think about that grandma I sacrificed to the fake zombies in San Francsico. Fear leads to the dark side. There is a chance I could forever lose myself trying to complete this bet. I decided I would need a good friend to pull me out before I fell to far. I called up Pat and explained the situation and asked for his help. He said he'd be there in the morning.

I woke up the next morning to find Pat having coffee with my grandma. They both said good morning. Grandma told me to go take my weekly shower while she cooked me some breakfast. After my shower, I combed my hair and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked myself in the eye and said "You can do this." While eating breakfast Grandma asked me if I could back out of the bet. I told her if I did, Ray would delete my Blog. She said "Well to H-E-double hockey sticks with that a-hole!" Grandma get's like that some times. I told her it was ok, because I was a man, I was strong, I had friends and family and I would win. She told me to becareful, because playing with the devil is dangerous business. Silly grandma, KOTRII was made by Bioware, not the devil.

I set up a Mini DV camcorder to film and document my quest to the dark side so I have proof to show Ray. Ok, here we go. I turn on the game, pick up the controller and create a new game and player. I usually pick the Obi-Wan look-a-like, but I couldn't do that this time. Obi-Wan would never turn to the dark side. I picked a guy with blonde hair and named him Darth Rayus. Haha! SWEET! I wake up in the Peragus II med ward. I walk out and find Kreia. I start acting like a jerk when I answer her questions and instantly gain dark side points. I make my way to Atton and T3. I push them around and act like a jerk and gain more dark side points. I'm on my way and it's easier than I thought. Peragus is pretty easy since I mainly just destroy droid's. I travel to Citidel Station and run into problems. I start killing people just because I feel like it, this is where the dark side starts to take hold. Atton tells me to calm down when I kill three Rodian Exchange guards. I tell him to shut up. I kill another man because he told me to get out of his apartment after I stole all of his things. I do all of the dirty little deeds that the Czerka Corporation wants me to do and then I help them kill Chodo Habat and the rest of the Ithorians. I am well on my way to the dark side. Telos is not ready for the havoc I'm about to unleash on it.

I'm a speed player, yeah video games just come naturally to me. I positive the movie Wizard is based on me and my awesome video game skills. I may be a video game wiz, but I've been playing for four hours and Pat has been doing a good job of keep me stocked with cold grape soda's. So I pause the game to pee in a bucket. I do this because I need every bit of energy I can get if I'm going to turn to the dark side and come back clean, so running up stairs to pee is wasted energy. This isn't like the BSG marathon, this requires much, much more concentration. Grandma checks up on me to see if I'm ok and Pat hands me a soda. Thanks grandma, thanks Pat. I slam the grape soda, snap into a Slim Jim and sit back down. Pat says a few words of encouragement and I jump right back into the action. I tell T3 he's lucky I don't turn him into scrap metal. I walk away and tell him to quite moving around the ship. Stay put you rolling trash can.

On Telos, I run into Bao-Dur and let him join my party just so I can verbally insult him. I leave no man, droid or animal alive. Everything dies in my quest to the dark side. Killing for fun is getting a little easier and Atton doesn't seem to mind. He congratulates me on my killing spree; I tell him to shut up and serve me well. Bao-Dur tries to talk sense into me and just keeps on talking even though I tell him to shut up. I send him packing back to the ship and put Kreia in his place. I soon run into Atris and the Handmaidens. I give Atris a piece of my mind and then I steal anything of hers I can get my hands on. I tell her I will be back to kill her and leave for Dantooine.

Pat asks me if I'm ok, because I started laughing uncontrollably while I was on my killing spree. I remember saying I was ok, but on the video tape, I told him to shut up and keep the soda's coming.

On Dantooine, the Handmaiden joins my party. I don't like her and I let her know it. Now she hates me, she won't even talk to me. I go onto kill farmers, traders, mercenaries, mandalorians and salvagers. I make Bao-Dur help me build a lightsaber and then tell him to get back to work on the ship. A Dark Jedi by the name of Visas tries to assassinate me, but I beat her. I let her join my party. She replaces the useless Kreia. Pat stops me, because I'm laughing again. I tell him to shut up. He's getting annoying, why did I have him come over? I soon turn on the good people of Dantooine and overthrow the local government. Next I kill Master Vrook because he talks down to me. I take his lightsaber and kick his dead body as I leave for Nar Shaddaa. Once there I bully and threaten a Toydarian named Quello. I beat on refugees and tell tem to kill themselves. I kill a salvager for a droid and steal a sports bar from a Twi'lek. SWEET! I am the dark side. I throw my grape soda across the room because it brings me great joy and I laugh. Pat puts his hand on my shoulder. I knock it off and tackle him. We knock over the Mini DV camcorder and it shuts off.

The last part of this story is based on what I remember and from what my grandma and Pat told me happened. With my mind corrupted by the dark side, I wrestled and fought Pat in the basement. He kept hitting me in the head with a pillow. I said, "Pat, it's time to bow to your master!" and charged at him again. In my rage, Pat managed to trip me. As I got up, a big python started to wrap around me and trap me in its grip. BUMMER. I remember fighting to get free before the python could squeeze the life out of me. Pat ran off while I battled the python for my life. I struggled and struggled only to have the python squeeze tighter. I called upon the dark side for help. I channeled all of my hatred and filled my body with the cold dark power. I felt so cold and wet, I was confused. I opened my eyes to see my grandma and Pat standing over me. Grandma was holding a pitcher and Pat a pillow. I asked what was going on? Why was I all wet? Grandma told me I was under the devil's influence, so Pat trapped me in a blanket to keep from hurting myself or anyone else. He then went and told my grandma what was happening. She came down stairs to find me fighting the blanket and swearing and yelling. She poured the cold water over me to break the devil's spell. I looked over to the TV and saw that I hadn't beat the game. I lost the bet.

Later that night, while dinning on some grilled hamburgers, my grandma asked me if I had learned my lesson. I told her yes and promised not to take any more stupid bets that would get me in trouble. Grandma said "It wasn't the bet that got you trouble, it was playing with the devil that got you trouble." I said I wasn't playing with the devil, I was playing with myself. Grandpa and Pat both started laughing really hard. My grandma rolled her eyes and shook her head.