E3 2006: Run Himee, Run

HEY! I'M BACK! Okay, this is part three of my trip to E3 in Los Angeles. Right now, Pat and I are in San Francisco taking in the SWEET! sites before we go on to San Diego to stay with Pat's cousin Samuel. You should read parts one and two to get the whole story. At the end of the last episode, I said things were about to get a lot worse in San Francisco, so let me tell you what happened.

Okay, aside from my hang over, I started to feel better once I was in the car. Pat and I went to see the Golden Gate bridge, but it wasn't gold, it was red. I asked Pat why they call it golden when it's really red? Pat shrugged as he threw a empty beer can into the back seat of the car and cracked open another. I was going to take a picture for my grandma, but Pat put the pedal to the metal and started weaving in and out of traffic talking about how he can drive like Tom Cruise did in Days of Thunder. I'm getting a little scared. I asked if I could drive the mustang, but Pat said he was driving since it was his good looks that got the car in the first place. I insisted it was a team effort, this only caused him to drive crazier. I'm feeling sick again. Pat runs a red light and fish tails around the corner while drinking his beer and floors it down the street. I throw up over the side of the mustang and and watch the road whiz by. I sit back down in the seat just as Pat hits the brakes and runs into a person. OH FUDGE!

Pat says "WHERE THE F@(K DID HE COME FROM!?" I didn't answer. I was in shock. We just hit some one and he isn't moving. I may never see my grandma again. I don't want to go to prison. Pat gets out of the car and walks over to the guy we just hit. He tells me to see if there is a blanket in the trunk. I grab the keys and go look. I hear the man moan which is good because we didn't kill him and I'm not going to prison. As I'm looking in the trunk, I hear Pat yell "What the hell, get off of me!" I close the trunk to see what is going on, Pat is struggling with some people in front of the car. I run around to the front to help Pat who is now screaming for help. I go to push the closest person away when Pat kicks out with his foot and hits me in the chest. I stumbled backwards and tripped on the curb and hit my head. I get back up and I see blood on Pat and his attackers. These people are starting to eat Pat. Oh my God! Zombies. It's too late for Pat, so I take a picture. The man we hit is crawling over to Pat to join in on the feast. I hear some moaning behind me, I turn around to see more zombies coming my way. I'm getting out of here. I go for the car only to find I don't have the keys. I must have dropped them when Pat kicked me. I panic and freeze, I don't know what to do. All I have is my camera and no weapons. I've seen plenty of Zombie flicks, I need weapons. My ninja skills won't help me with Zombies. What I wouldn't give to have my Ash costume, with boom stick and chain saw. A hand slams down on the hood and pulls a body up with it. It's Pat. He stands up and looks at me and says "Braains." Zombies bump into the passenger side of the car and reach out for me. I scream and get out of the car and run down the street with zombies following me.

I run around a corner in search of help. If I can lead the zombies away from the car and lose them, then I can go back and get the keys and get the heck out of here. That would be SWEET! The zombies are right behind me with Pat leading the pack. I run past people who have no idea what is coming this way, they will soon be zombies too. I turn left onto another street and run into an old lady who is about the same age as my grandma and we fall to the ground. I help the old lady up and see the zombies coming up on us fast. I say sorry and push her towards them and take a picture. I sacrificed her to slow down the zombies. I also knew she couldn't run fast enough to keep up with me.

Okay, I've been running for a few blocks and I'm feeling really, really tired and dizzy from the hang over. My training for 8 to 10 hour TV marathons has not prepared me for this kind of situation. To make matters worse, the zombie posse is getting bigger and bigger. I've got a whole battalion chasing after me now. I see a man at a telephone booth. SWEET! he can call for help. I run up to the man, tap him on the shoulder and tell him I'm in need of urgent help. The man turns around to look at me and I see blood on his mouth, it's another zombie. The zombie posse is coming around the corner and heading straight for us. He speaks into the phone and says "braaiinnns." I snap a picture of the zombie, turn around and run down the sidewalk and head around the corner. I get half way down the street when another group of zombies comes out of a alley right in front of me. I'm not able to stop in time and run into one of them. We fall down in a pile of living dead bodies and a pain in my ankle tells me it's sprained. I feel dead hands groping me. I let out a mighty scream and lash out with my limbs, knocking several of them away. I get up and head back the way I came with a new group of zombies following me. Rounding the corner in front of me is the first group of zombies and they are coming right for me. I do the first thing that comes to my mind and go through the door to my left.

I stumble through the door and find my self in the lobby of a fancy hotel. The door man asks if he can help me. I tell him to run and he just gives me a funny look. I limp towards the check in desk and tell the lady to call the police. I hear a scream of terror behind me and then the lady at the check in desk screams. I tried to warn the door man. I know the zombies are coming, so I hurry up the main stairway and down the first hallway I see. I stop at the elevator and push the button. I sit down against the wall, I need rest. A hotel worker walks past me pushing a cart full of alcohol. He stops and asks if i'm ok. I tell him not to go that way because there are zombies coming. He laughs at me and say maybe I've had a little too much to drink. I wish. I push the elevator button again as he walks away and turns the corner. The elevator finally arrives and the doors open. I almost pee my pants when I see zombies reaching out for me. They almost get me. I hobble back down the hallway and turn the corner and see history in the making. I see Pat at the alcohol cart showing the other zombies how to make mix drinks. Even as a zombie, Pat still craves alcohol. I snap a picture, because this is to good to be true. That was a mistake. Pat and the zombies see me and lose interest in the drinks. Pat says "braaiiinnnns" and they all come at me. I turn around only to see the other zombies coming at me too. I'm trapped again, so I go through the door on my right. The zombies thwart my attempt to close and lock the door by sticking their arms in the way. I make my way to the window but it won't open. I pick up a chair and throw it through the glass. The zombies are on me before I even get a leg out the window. I push back on the ledge to knock them off me. I land on my sprained ankle and fall on the bed. Zombies start to grab my legs. I try to shake them off, but Pat pins my shoulder to the bed. I look into his face and he says "braiinnnss." I struggle to get away. I feel a hot pain in my ankle and I know it's over, the zombies got me. I close my eyes and think about my grandma as I wait for it to end.

I feel cold water splashed on my face. I open my eyes and see Pat still standing over me. He starts laughing at me as do the rest of the zombies. I pull the covers up to my chest and cower against the wall. I yell for them to get away from me. They all laugh even harder at me. Pat says "We really scared you good!" I look around and realize these people aren't zombies. I ask Pat what is going on. He explains how he found out about this zombie cos-play raid on San Francisco while surfing the web one night. He knew I loved cos-play so he worked it into our plans and took care of the plane tickets. He got me drunk on purpose so that I wouldn't realize we were on the wrong plane. I asked about the Tom Cruise look-a-like and all the reporters. He told me that wasn't planned at all, but it worked out for the best since we got the mustang for free. I asked about the guy we hit. Pat explained how he contacted the people running this zombie raid and worked out all the details with them. We actually hit a stuffed dummy that was switched when I was looking in the trunk for a blanket. I threw a pillow at him and told him I was mad him because I almost peed my pants. Everybody laughed really hard at me. Pat said "Come on Himee, if I'm going to look like Tom Cruise, then I need to get a hair cut."

So Pat got me really good. On the way to San Diego, I asked Pat why he scared me like that, he said it for that time I chased after him in my Ash costume and chain saw when he had a hang over. He said he had nightmares for a week after that. I guess were even. So that was our adventure in San Francisco. In the next issue I will tell you all about our E3 experience. BYE!

Himee Jones